June 28, 2003
New York City
I was at a small dinner party the other night where I was the only US born. There were 2 Europeans from France and Germany, 2 South Africans and 1 South American. A couple of themes wove through the evening; one was being a foreigner and the other was New York City. Having lived abroad for many years I know what it means to be a foreigner, and since I didn’t grow up in this city I too have had to pass through the very tough initiation that is obligatory in moving to any new place, and more specifically to this city. Before moving here I heard it described as a city that takes bites out of you, chews you up into little pieces and then spits you out, if you are not strong.
Some of the things that we all agreed on were: People don’t look at each other, or if they do they pretend not to, especially in the subway. This was one of the first things I noticed when I came from Roma, where everyone looks at each other and often even undress you with their eyes. It’s a city where friendship is hard to consolidate because it is highly career oriented. Friendship, for the most part is based on what others can do for you. Because of this, but not only, one can feel very isolated; a foreigner can feel that they do not belong. We agreed, however, that not belonging or the feeling of not belonging is an existential condition that exists beyond place.
In favor of the city we all agreed that its beauty resides in the melting pot that it is; there in itself was a harmonious and interesting evening, sharing food, ideas and good cheer with people from 5 different countries. And that NYC and its surrounding boroughs offers many opportunities in every field. A funny thing happens for those who stay; despite the daily complaints one finds themselves at home amidst the difficulties and complexities, which often compels you to ask more of yourself.
Here’s to good company in NYC or any place.
Cheers!
